Self-Denial

Today,like past few days I was sitting idle and thoughts without words were flowing inside my head.
The girl sitting just right of the pillar facing me was amusing in a peculiar way. Today the small bindi on her forehead was just adding to her beauty. The flash of light from the computer facing her,her slake fingers and the way she rested it on her chin n cheeks,the amazing style of her dupatta,fall of her hair and above all her captive eyes.
Sun light filtering through the curtain facing me,usual spin of the entrance door , attentive but deceptive face of manish garg(our hr),casual and frictional walk of Amit Govil(ceo) with an ego about his achievement without considering the way he did that,the constant effort of sharad(the guy sitting adjacent to me),the bait searching eyes of u n mayank,the illogically considerate eyes of joshi etc. these are just a part of my daily thought excersise. Apart from the girl,who does't know how to take out printouts and her searching n disturbed eyes.
My day is stuffed with loads of expectations.Expectations that something would happen and my thought process would be changed. I strongly believe that I'm not in the right mode of life,doing things which shouldn't be done,or which are not required out of me to be done .
Something was going wrong,something had to change.I don't know what to do for that. But right now what I'm pursuing is self-denial.
My self-denial might end up bringing hope n life to the one i love.
:-)